Why are the most simple tasks so difficult with a new baby? Why can't I get myself together? What am I doing with my life? Do I even deserve a shower today? Should my new nick name be "Moo"?
These are the questions I mull over in the middle of the night and I'm proud to say, I've had a revelation. Stay at home moms are not given a job description, y'all. The needs of your little people are constantly changing and so, naturally, the job changes, too. It's like being given a new project every morning, but in a foreign language. Our babies aren't guaranteed a clean bill of health upon arrival. They don't come with a manual, mapping out their personalities, likes and dislikes and so on. You are left alone to fumble through and figure it out as you go along. Whether biological, adopted or fostered, these little people come to you as strangers. They are the boss but the training is boot camp while wearing a blind fold. It takes way too long to figure them out, and then they change. Because the job was just getting too easy, right?
With a new baby, I find myself in this familiar place. I feel inadequate, used up and under qualified. I'm frozen with insecurity. How is it that I've got a 5 year old and a 3 year old? Did I really sustain them this long with my mama skills? What are those skills anyway?
I definitely feel underpaid!
A friend of mine shared this video and it brought me to tears (a normal part of my routine these days).
I'd love to see an entire documentary on SAHM's just to be encouraged and reminded that I'm not alone. Millions of women around the world are serving every day in this simple yet profound way. Healing, feeding, teaching and bringing hope to these little lives. We are sustaining them and raising them up. It's mundane and even humiliating at times, but it's so so worth it.