Kids Say The Darndest Things-Theology

The kids have been pretty deep lately. Here's a little theology for you on this beautiful winter Sunday.

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Elijah was being absolutely horrible one Sunday morning. I felt particularly overwhelmed and decided I couldn't take a screaming 5 year old, and aloof 3 year old and a newborn to church by myself!

Me : "I'm not taking a fussy boy to church. We'll just stay home."

Elijah : "but you need to take fussy boys to church so they can confess!"

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Again, while dealing with a difficult Elijah tantrum:

Dan : "You're anger is not okay."

Elijah  : "It's okay to be angry but not to disobey!"

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Elijah is giving me a lecture on death, what happens to our bodies and souls (the stages-bodies go to the ground, souls up to heaven until Jesus returns to reunite our souls with our bodies for the new creation....), and the fact that we have no idea where heaven is (well, he's pretty certain it's outside of the universe somewhere). 

Then he said "speaking of Jesus, when will he come back? we don't know! it's just a surprise! i hope it's today. even though we are having a happy day and get to be with dad tonight on a family date, it would be even better to all be dead and have our souls with God tonight!" 

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Lazarus is reading from my Bible. This is what the word of God says (according to Laz) - 

"do not pee in the house. just pee in the potty and walk on the second place to bring all the daddy bibles and when it goes, let it drink. when it drinks, it breaks. when it not breaks, the playground breaks."

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Then, there are the random comments throughout the day : 

Elijah : "The devil is dumb. He is so dumb and we can call the devil dumb because he's evil."

Lazarus : "Jesus die and he got dead but he rise from the dead and now is ALIVE!!!..........Right?"

Elijah : "Don't worship satan. Only worship the one true God. And that's Jesus."